Below is the top 10 list of the most bizarre Google searches that have led to my site in 2004.

Please vote for the one that you think is the most bizarre.

a) "my bladder is about to burst" (Google USA)

b) superman on a dirt bike (Google USA)

c) history of hand dryers (Google USA)

d) arafat funeral jokes (Google Canada)

e) Biblical predictions about the Tsunami in Indian Ocean (Google UK)

f) french sunbather falls face first (Google USA)

g) how to get a northwest territories license plate (Google USA)

h) "fat asian kid" dance (Google Finland)

i) "hacky sack hat" (Google Canada)

j) redneck in toronto (Google Canada)
 

Here's how you impress a woman at the gym:


 

Here is a link to some incredible tsunami videos of it hitting the beaches. The force is unbelievable, you can see the power of it bursting through buildings and splashing dozens of feet in the air.

Link to Videos
 

An American diver on vacation in Thailand was scuba diving below the tsunami as it wreaked havoc on the shore. Who would have thought that scuba diving would be the safest place to be?

They started to see debris floating in water, and they then saw dead bodies floating in the water. They got to the shore and tried to help people who were dying. The hotel they were staying in was mostly gone, and they surely would have perished had they not been scuba diving.

Here is the full story c/o CNN: Link


 

I was going through some of my old digital images, and I came across this display of my very poor digital graphic editing abilities. The girl is my ex-girlfriend, I hope you don't mind me posting your picture Trudy!


 

Sunday's Tsunami has now claimed close to 60,000 lives, and that number is expected to increase as more affected areas are discovered.

The Tsunami was caused by geologic plates under the Indian Ocean pressing against and under each other, causing a movement on the sea floor that pushed water up and out to form a wall of destruction. The tsunami wreaked massive destruction on the coastal towns, likely killing more than 60,000 and leaving millions of people homeless.

A train in Sri Lanka was lifted off the tracks, and approximately 1000 people that were on the train are now dead or missing.

The countries that were most affected are: Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India, and Thailand. A total of more than 300 people were killed in Malaysia, Myanmar, Bangladesh, the Maldives, Somalia, Tanzania, Seychelles and Kenya.

Yvette Stevens, UN Assistant Emergency Relief aid coordinator, said the international aid needed for the Indian Ocean was likely to exceed the previous record UN appeal of 1.6 billion dollars for Iraq (news - web sites) last year.

If President Bush is truly looking to do something good for the world, he should be contributing a substantial amount of money to help aid the relief. This could very well be the worst disaster we will see in our lifetime, and the people affected by this disaster are in dire need for assistance from the world's wealthy economies. I believe the US has already contributed somewhere between 20-40 million dollars so far. I also think that Canada should be pledging as much as they can as well to assist in the relief.

The UN health agency has warned that an epidemic could double the number of deaths if food, water and medicine don’t arrive quickly.



Sources: National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, Yahoo News, CNN, CBC
 

I wanted to take this time to wish a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to all my friends, family and readers of my site. Everyone has been very supportive in a lot of different ways this year, in a year where very significant changes have happened in my life.

A friend of mine from work doesn't celebrate Christmas, but she is a very religious Christian, so I was intrigued by this revelation. She is an amazing person with one of the biggest hearts, and very well read, so I wanted to share with you her reasons for not celebrating Christmas.

Facts: Christmas is not of Christian origin; The word 'Christmas' is not in the Bible; Christmas was not celebrated by Christians until almost 400 years after the original movement. Christmas is a fusion of Mithraism, Saturnalia, and European paganism.

Saturnalia (from the god Saturn) was the name the Romans gave to their holiday marking the Winter Solstice. The Roman midwinter holiday, Saturnalia, was both a gigantic fair and a festival of the home. Over the years, it expanded to a whole week, the 17th through 23rd of December. Riotous merry-making took place, and the halls of houses were decked with boughs of laurel and evergreen trees. Lamps were kept burning to ward off the spirits of darkness. It also degenerated from mostly tomfoolery, marked chiefly by having masters and slaves switch places, to sometimes debauchery, so that among Christians the (lower case) word "saturnalia" came to mean "orgy." It was traditional for Romans to exchange gifts during this holiday. These gifts were customarily made of silver, although nearly anything could be given as a gift for the occasion. Temples were decorated with evergreens symbolizing life's continuity, and processions of people with masked or blackened faces and fantastic hats danced through the streets. The winter solstice is 25 December in the ancient Roman astronomical calendar, but 21 December in the modern calendar. This is a time of rest and celebration after the last sowing, and so agricultural deities, such as Saturn, Ops and Consus, are especially honored.

Mithraism: Mithraism is the worship of Mithra. The original source of the cult is unknown but argued to be of Persian, Indian or Chinese descent. It has been called an offshoot of Zorastrianism but that is also contested and not much literary evidence of the cult has survived. According to Persian legends, Mithra was born of a rock and a virgin mother called the "Mother of God" and was first attended by shepherds. Mithra was called "the Light of the World." They believed in a heaven and hell and the dualism of good and evil, a final day of judgment, the end of the world as we know it and a general resurrection. Long before Jesus, Dec. 25th was celebrated as the date of Mithra's birth. Mithra was also associated with the sun, and his followers marked Sunday as his day of worship, they called it the Lord's Day. A few of the extra-biblical traditions seem to have found its way to Christianity through Roman Mithraism.

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The Newfoundland and Labrador premier Danny Williams should be ashamed of himself for taking down the Canadian flags because he feels Ottawa hasn't offered him a fair deal on offshore revenue. I think this is the most disrespectful thing he can do to his country, and the worst possible way to resolve the conflict.
Link to article

I predict there will be many US airport officials leaving their jobs in the near future. The Transportation Security Administration announced yesterday that it is modifying Pat-down procedures at airports to exclude patting down breasts unless the handheld metal detector goes off or if there is an irregularity in the passenger's clothing outline.

I would consider this a "fringe benefit" for airport employees, and with the new law, employee morale will likely decline ;)

Link to article

For singles looking to meet new people, I always thought that going to the gym, or grocery shopping or to church was the best way to meet new people.

According to a recent survey of 1,003 New Yorkers, the best place to pick up is the bookstore chain; Barnes & Noble. (Link to article)

The random dude in the picture below looks like he's ready to pick up.

Here's a pic from the work party on Friday. It's not too often you get to see me doing the limbo. (My VP is the lady visibly laughing in the background)

A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas. It seems like an appropriate gift; after all, they’ve only known each other three weeks. He wants something romantic, just not too personal. He asks the girlfriend’s younger sister to come along to advise on hand size and color. After much consideration, he buys a pair of white gloves at Eaton’s. The sister picks up a pair of panties for her self. But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels. The kid sister gets the gloves, the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties. Without checking, the guy rushes the suspect gift on to his sweetie.

But first he writes and attaches a loving and helpful note:

Merry Christmas!

I chose these because I notice you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the sales lady I bought them from showed me a pair she’s been wearing for the last three weeks. They were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me, and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put these on you the first time. There’s no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

I hope you think of me. When you take them off, remember to blow inside before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Christmas Eve.

PS. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

I was on my way to the Royal York hotel last night for yet another Christmas party, and the cab driver that was taking us definitely had a few loose screws. From the second we got in the cab, he spoke in a casual monotone manner and basically explained to us that Cab drivers are a lower form of life than the rest of the world. When we told him we were going to the Royal York, he told us that cab drivers don't go into places like the Royal York. "You ask me about McDonalds or Burger King, and I can tell you about things like that". He told us that cab drivers only buy things that are 99 cents, anything more expensive would cost too much for a cab driver to be able to afford. "Cab drivers don't have homes, they sleep wherever they can, they are peasants".

Then he told us that he buys all his clothes by the pound from second hand clothing stores, which lead to a conversation about how the clothes he's wearing right now have faulty zippers and tears in the pants because they are second hand. Then we asked him if the tear in his pants is near his "crotch" area, because you wouldn't want that. He told us that if there was a tear in the crotch, "it" would "pop" out, and we wouldn't want that because it would scare people away. So my buddy asked him if it would scare people away because it was so big, and he's like "Oh no, it's not big, it's small!". Then he told us about a Mortician friend that he has and he told us a story about a dead person that died with an "erection". His Mortician friend used duct tape to tape "it" down to his leg, because you don't want it to "pop" up during the funeral service.

He then proceeded to turn right on a Red Light, which is legal, but he kept looking left instead of looking straight ahead, so I yelled at him to watch out, because there was a Mother and her son crossing the street. He came within a few inches from hitting the son and slammed on the brakes. This was the only time there was any silence on this entire cab ride as he reflected about how he's getting older and not getting any smarter with his old age. This entire cab ride was only 10 minutes long, but it was a very entertaining 10 minutes.

George W. Bush has been named Time Magazine's "Person of the Year". When I browse to CNN, you would normally see something like this as the main news article, but it was bumped down to the second most important news article, because the car bombing in Iraq today that killed 40 people took priority. I don't know if it's ironic that the car bombing in Iraq was given more importance than Bush's Person of the Year article, but it sure is contradicting.

Link to CNN article: Link

Today our work Christmas bonuses were deposited into our bank accounts. Coincidentally, this afternoon is also our department Christmas party starting at 12:00PM. The tradition every year is to go to the nudey bar after the Christmas party, so I'm not sure if this bonus payment is a blessing or a curse ;)

PS: For any of my Toronto readers, come out to Bathurst and Queen at 9PM this evening to see our buddy's band play (The name of the band is Crackhead). It's at the Kathedral on the corner of Bathurst and Queen. The band comes on at 10:00PM, but try to be there by 9:00.

So I get into the office this morning and I have a message waiting. At first I thought it might be something important; usually when I have messages first thing in the morning, something is wrong. I listen to the message, and it's a buddy of mine impersonating someone we know to make fun of them, then he farts in the phone. Very classy ;)

I wonder what the world is going to be like in 5-10 years. With the exponential rate of technological expansion, how will our lives change? In the news today, the United States FCC announced that they hope to allow air travelers to surf the web by 2006. (Link) Being in a technology career, I can appreciate the convenience of this new advancement. But where are we going to go from here? In the near future, remote and isolated locations will be more connected with the rest of the world, such as campsites and fishing boats. It will be up to you to decide if you have the willpower to resist the temptation of connecting to the Internet for the sake of preserving the traditional enjoyment of camping in the wilderness with no connection to the outside world. It will be tempting to give in, and if you do give in, I think it will take away from the experience. All people will be available at all times if the world keeps heading in this direction. I think that in 10 years, devices that offer privacy will be a hot seller on the market, if GPS chips are embedded in human bodies, there will be a device that will scramble these devices.

What are your thoughts on the future of humankind and technology?

I have probably made a new American friend after yesterday's post. The blog I linked to yesterday was posted on November 10th. There were no comments on his posting as of yesterday evening, so it was posted for a full month with no comments. But since I posted a link, he now has 9 comments on his article. (Including his own replies). I've made a new friend ;)

I came across a blog entry this evening that caught my attention. Basically this guy is ranting about terrorists and the awful things they have done. He says "I hate the fact that civilians are being killed. But they were warned, and told to leave." He also suggested that the solution to the problem is to drop an enormous atomic carpet bomb on the Middle-East and wipe it out completely.

This fanatical Christian idiot thinks that murdering 260 million innocent people because there are a handful of terrorists in the middle east is going to solve the world's problems?

Here is the article: Link

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

At work yesterday, a co-worker that sits in the cubicle next to mine was talking to me. Typically when he's saying something to me, I can't hear him over the noise from my fan which is usually on since the floor is very hot normally. So my normal response would be "Oh, yup, cool, mm hmm" etc. So yesterday he was saying something to me, so I gave him the normal response
"Yup, ok, mm hmm", but he kept talking, so I kept giving him my auto-responses because I couldn't hear him clearly. As it turns out, he had said something to me, then he had made a phone call. So he was talking on the phone with someone else while I was still going "cool, yeah, mm hmm". I felt kinda bad ;)

In response to the comment from my last posting where I compared men to women, here is an applicable quote from Elaine on Seinfeld:

"The female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It's for gettin' around. It's like a Jeep."

The difference between guys and girls: I have a female friend who's going on a 2 week trip to the West US Coast. Here is her list of bathroom items (Not including her make-up).

- Package of Q-Tips
- Marine cleansing gel
- Hair Brush
- Baby Oil
- "Tom's of Maine" natural deodorant
- Estee Lauder gentle eye makeup remover
- Hydro-refining softner lotion
- Herbal Essences fruit fusions protecting conditioner
- Oral-B Toothbrush
- St. Ives Shampoo
- Biosilk silk therapy
- Facial pads
- Oil free multi defense lotion daily moisturizer
- Silkening body lotion "Endless Love"
- Mouth retainer
- Lady pads, etc.

Let's compare that to my bathroom item list when I go on a trip:
- Shampoo (sample pack if available)
- Soap
- Toothbrush/toothpaste
- Deodorant
- Cologne (Depending on where the trip is)

Girls are so typical.. PS: IF I had included the makeup kit, this list would probably be 3 pages.. Not to mention this is the condensed version of her bathroom kit. She had removed some items in order to make everything fit.

This week's quotes of the week come from George W. Bush.

"I THINK WE AGREE, THE PAST IS OVER."
-ON HIS MEETING WITH JOHN MCCAIN, DALLAS MORNING NEWS, MAY 10, 2000

"IT'S CLEARLY A BUDGET. IT'S GOT A LOT OF NUMBERS IN IT."
-REUTERS, MAY 5, 2000

"THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IS NOT TO BE GOVERNOR, OR FIRST LADY IN MY CASE."
-PELLA, IOWA, AS QUOTED BY THE SAN ANTONIO EXPRESS-NEWS, JAN. 30, 2000

"WHEN I WAS COMING UP, IT WAS A DANGEROUS WORLD, AND YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHO THEY WERE. IT WAS US VS. THEM, AND IT WAS CLEAR WHO THEM WAS. TODAY, WE ARE NOT SO SURE WHO THE THEY ARE, BUT WE KNOW THEY'RE THERE."
-IOWA WESTERN COMMUNITY COLLEGE, JAN 21, 2000

"RARELY IS THE QUESTION ASKED: IS OUR CHILDREN LEARNING?"
-FLORENCE, S.C., JAN. 11, 2000

"I THINK ANYBODY WHO DOESN'T THINK I'M SMART ENOUGH TO HANDLE THE JOB IS UNDERESTIMATING."
-U.S. NEWS & WORLD REPORT, APRIL 3, 2000

"WE'RE CONCERNED ABOUT AIDS INSIDE OUR WHITE HOUSE - MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT." -FEB. 7, 2001

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS LEGACIES. AT LEAST, THERE IS A LEGACY, BUT I'LL NEVER SEE IT." -SPEAKING TO CATHOLIC LEADERS AT THE WHITE HOUSE, JAN. 31, 2001

I was at a bar in Hamilton last night called “Dirty Dog Saloon”. It’s a Coyote Ugly type bar where the (female) bartenders dance on top of the bar. They were tossing women’s undergarments into the crowd. Not sure if it was used underwear or not ;) They have a website (Link) where they have profiles of each of the “Dirty Girls” that lists their interests, their Dating status, etc.

The other thing I thought was strange was the fact that after the bartenders were done their show, they let any female patron in the bar dance on top of the bar. So by the end of the night there were 15-20 girls dancing on top of the bar. It seems quite dangerous to me to let a bunch of intoxicated girls dance on top of a bar. What do you think?

I'm a fan of Matthew Good, so I wanted to share his lyrics from his song "21st Century Living".

You know, today I was asked only one question
One question all day
Do you know what that was?
"Do you want this supersized?"
Come to think of it, I'd like the whole fucking world supersized

Supersize guns
Supersize planes
Supersize satellites
Think about how many more channels you could get with supersized satellites

Supersize sales
How do you supersize a sale?
How about we supersize 3rd World debt relief?

Supersize love
Supersize honesty
Supersize government
Come to think of it
Actually, nah, let's not supersize the government

Supersize death
Can I have a supersized death?
I'd like to supersize a death with a Coke

You know what we need?
Some back-up singers, hook up like a little jingle

Kinda like that
Supersize the song
Really, if we supersize the record, we'll sell more records, it's a supersized record
That is, after all, our ambition

Fake lighting flashes over the skyline
A deer in your headlights
So gun it, gun it, gun it, gun it, gun it
We're singing songs about 21st century living
If hate's in your heart, man
You'll take what you're given

Ambition, ambition's a tricky thing
It's like riding a unicycle on a dental floss tightrope over a wilderness of razor blades
Ambition can backfire
Ambition means more
Ambition means faster
Ambition means better

I wonder if you can sup—
Can you supersize ambition?
Does that make you ambitious if you supersize ambition?
Around here, our ambition hurts more than it helps
Around here our ambition throws an non-perishable item in a donation bin at Christmas
And it pats itself on the fucking back because it thinks it's done something decent

Yeah, we're supersizing ambition
Make no mistake about it
Our ambition will televise the revolution
And it'll sell more fucking commercial spots than the Super Bowl,
the Olympics, the World Series, and the Tragedy Du Jour combined
We're supersizing
We're supersizing the record
'Cause we're ambitious

If hate's in your heart, man
You'll take what your given

These pictures of this chubby Asian kid are hilarious.

Click the link to see all 22 images: Link

While renovating our house last week, we found a very old advertisement/post card for an Auto Garage in between the walls of the house. It looks like it's from the early 1900's. When Ned was doing the drywall, he found a Newspaper from Thursday February 7th, 1912. I had no idea our house was that old.